Don't Gasp During Trapeze Tricks

I was on the silks in class working on a fairly new move for me. You split the fabric, hang upside down, and crochet a piece around each leg. Then you cross the fabric behind your back, bring the fabric straps to the front of your body and bend your knees. You then reach up, grab the fabric above your knees and pull yourself up and through that hole. Now sitting right side up, you cross the fabric in front of your chest and bring your knees over your head.

Confusing to describe, I know. But the point is that after you wrap yourself up in this big old knot, you straighten your legs and drop about 4 feet down and stop when the backs of your knees rehook on the fabric.

So I did the wrap, did the drop... and immediately felt a rush of hair hit my junk. And by junk I mean penis and testies and legs. So I gasped because I'm positive in that 1/4 second I dropped, that I've somehow ripped my tights off and my business is hanging out and exposed to the entire gym.

Immediately the trainer rushes over, thinking in my drop that I've hurt myself. But then he sees me staring up at my crotch, wide-eyed.

Turns out that the fabric did catch the top of my tights and they poofed out, but they didn't yank off. And the only person who can see my junk is me, because I'm looking up at how the top of my tights is poofed out and my jewels are there staring back at me.

Needless to say, I was lectured by a stressed coach about not freaking out over silly things. As he said, "Rick, it's not like we all haven't seen that kind of thing before anyway. So don't scream like that."

So don't gasp unless there's a real injury. Got it? Good.